Well, it's that people start them and then can't be bothered to keep them going! Of course, I have a million excuses for not adding to mine for a couple of weeks, overworked, underpaid etc. Actually, I've just been on holiday (yes, I know we teachers are totally spoilt, don't know what it's like in the real world where you have to exist on less than 13 weeks holiday a year!) so that's my most topical excuse.
Did anyone annoy me while I was away? YOU BET!! But that's to be expected from a grumpy old git like me. Where shall we start? What about having a go at the dickless wonders who have less than a passing acquaintance with the Highway Code? God, they bug me - listen to this you IDIOTS - do not, I repeat DO NOT park on a junction, even if it means that you might have to walk 10 metres or so to the post box! Do not, yes I need to shout it again, DO NOT overtake when there are double white lines down the centre of the road - that means it's dangerous you twats!! Apart from the frustrations of road travel, I had a very nice time with my lovely daughters at a decidedly chilly east coast resort known for its bracing qualities. No more today, as I find that I am in an uncharacteristically good mood and can't, for the moment, think of anything else to moan about. No doubt that will all change tomorrow.
Friday 26 October 2007
Sunday 14 October 2007
Well, I decided that as I felt so much better having vented my spleen re the mangling of the language, I would try again for the same cathartic effect with some of my other bugbears. By the way, I'm unhappy that my favourite punctuation mark (the exclamation mark) is not recognised on this text entry thingumy jig and therefore I am deprived of my usual over-enthusiastic usage of said punctuation. However, you will just have to use your imagination as to where I would have randomly placed exclamation marks. (Yes, that would have been one of them.)
Unusually for one of my advancing years, I am all in favour of metrication. Yes, I remember the days when a threepenny bit would buy you two ounces of pineapple chunks on the way to school, but I do not look back fondly on those times. Let's face it, pounds and ounces are just downright baffling, and when you get to acres, rods, chains, furlongs etc. then you've completely lost me. When God was a lad every school exercise book had a conversion table at the back telling you how many rods were in a perch (honestly) but it never made sense to me. Therefore, I've decided that it's time to take metrication to its logical conclusion - let's metricate time.
It could take some time to work out the finer details, and by someone with a more logical brain than mine, but I'm convinced that it is possible. After all, pre-decimalisation there were 240 pennies in a pound (if my memory serves me) and twelve in a shilling and if that makes sense to you then you're weirder than I am. So, we could start with months in a year - I suggest 10 would make sense. Of course, days in a month would also have to be some logical multiple of 10, for the sake of argument, let's say 40 - okay then, 50 makes more sense. If we decide to keep weeks as a measurement of time, they would probably have to be made up of 10 days, or possibly 5, and each of those days should perhaps have 20 hours rather than the rather untidy 24. So far, so good. How about 500 days in a year? Does that sound reasonable? When it gets to the finer details of minutes and seconds, my head starts to hurt, but I'm sure someone out there will take up the challenge to help me metricate time! One really GOOD THING to come out of this is that we would probably only have to celebrate Christmas once every ten years. I'll drink to that (exclamation mark).
Unusually for one of my advancing years, I am all in favour of metrication. Yes, I remember the days when a threepenny bit would buy you two ounces of pineapple chunks on the way to school, but I do not look back fondly on those times. Let's face it, pounds and ounces are just downright baffling, and when you get to acres, rods, chains, furlongs etc. then you've completely lost me. When God was a lad every school exercise book had a conversion table at the back telling you how many rods were in a perch (honestly) but it never made sense to me. Therefore, I've decided that it's time to take metrication to its logical conclusion - let's metricate time.
It could take some time to work out the finer details, and by someone with a more logical brain than mine, but I'm convinced that it is possible. After all, pre-decimalisation there were 240 pennies in a pound (if my memory serves me) and twelve in a shilling and if that makes sense to you then you're weirder than I am. So, we could start with months in a year - I suggest 10 would make sense. Of course, days in a month would also have to be some logical multiple of 10, for the sake of argument, let's say 40 - okay then, 50 makes more sense. If we decide to keep weeks as a measurement of time, they would probably have to be made up of 10 days, or possibly 5, and each of those days should perhaps have 20 hours rather than the rather untidy 24. So far, so good. How about 500 days in a year? Does that sound reasonable? When it gets to the finer details of minutes and seconds, my head starts to hurt, but I'm sure someone out there will take up the challenge to help me metricate time! One really GOOD THING to come out of this is that we would probably only have to celebrate Christmas once every ten years. I'll drink to that (exclamation mark).
Friday 12 October 2007
What's it all about, Alfie??
Well, it seems that even two year olds are at it - blogging that is, so as I am some 51 years older than that, perhaps I should have a go too. Why anyone should devote more than a passing second to read through the irrelevant ramblings of the average blogger is beyond me, but there you go. It's sort of addictive in a guilty-pleasure kind of way, a bit like QVC. No one owns up to either blogging, or reading other people's blogs, but you just know that they do it anyway.
Well, I'm reaching that time of life when I like to have a good grumble about the younger generation/state of the nation/how much better things were when God was a lad etc. Let me share one of my most fervent distastes - poor spelling and bad grammar. The abuse of the apostrophe practically needs an Act of Parliament to protect the species, I mean how difficult is it to understand the rule of possession??? The other main threats to civilization as I see it are the totally heinous use of "could of", "would of" etc. FOR GOD'S SAKE "could HAVE", "would HAVE" -just get a grip and buckle down to some good old fashioned English lessons (okay, I admit it, I'm a teacher, but somebody's got to do the job). My final ramble of the day is this: pay attention at the back, this is fairly challenging, but not quantum physics: the present tense of the word "choose" as in "I choose to wear my blue coat" rhymes with "shoes". The past tense: "chose", as in "I chose to write this ridiculous blog" should rhyme with "nose". Furthermore, the word "lose" as in "you lose, sucker" also rhymes with "shoes" and the word "loose" (which is in no way related to the verb meaning "not to win") rhymes with "noose" - which should probably be the punishment for such crimes against the English language. There, now I can sleep soundly having relieved myself of many years of pent-up fury at the perpetrators of linguistic felony. Thank you and good night from the Queen of the Fairies (yes, there is a story behind that name, which you may be treated to in a future ramble.)
Well, I'm reaching that time of life when I like to have a good grumble about the younger generation/state of the nation/how much better things were when God was a lad etc. Let me share one of my most fervent distastes - poor spelling and bad grammar. The abuse of the apostrophe practically needs an Act of Parliament to protect the species, I mean how difficult is it to understand the rule of possession??? The other main threats to civilization as I see it are the totally heinous use of "could of", "would of" etc. FOR GOD'S SAKE "could HAVE", "would HAVE" -just get a grip and buckle down to some good old fashioned English lessons (okay, I admit it, I'm a teacher, but somebody's got to do the job). My final ramble of the day is this: pay attention at the back, this is fairly challenging, but not quantum physics: the present tense of the word "choose" as in "I choose to wear my blue coat" rhymes with "shoes". The past tense: "chose", as in "I chose to write this ridiculous blog" should rhyme with "nose". Furthermore, the word "lose" as in "you lose, sucker" also rhymes with "shoes" and the word "loose" (which is in no way related to the verb meaning "not to win") rhymes with "noose" - which should probably be the punishment for such crimes against the English language. There, now I can sleep soundly having relieved myself of many years of pent-up fury at the perpetrators of linguistic felony. Thank you and good night from the Queen of the Fairies (yes, there is a story behind that name, which you may be treated to in a future ramble.)
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